When was the last time beating yourself up got you the outcome you wanted?

When was it ever truly effective in helping you shift what you feel or do into something that was positive and moving in the direction you wanted?

This was the theme in my mastermind group this week. This was the question I asked my client when I heard how hard she was being on herself.

We were taught at a young age that we need discipline and punishment. So as adults it’s just our programming that continues to run the same pattern, but we are the ones punishing ourselves.

And it does no good!

Or we want to help someone we love and just try to fix all of their problems. Or the relationship. We are always fixing and working on it.

What if you loved instead?

What if you took a rest, put down the hammer, and just breathed and gave some heartfelt emotion? What would that feel like?

What if you showed the same loving compassion to yourself that you would to a young child you saw hitting or abusing themselves?

What if you felt your child’s or partner’s pain and just gave them love and an open safe space where they can find their own way?

Not every fix exists in doing.  Most exist in being.

You are not bad. You are not broken.

We don’t need more hammering. We need more loving.